If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
