Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
