Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
