Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
