He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
