He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
