so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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