Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
