Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
