Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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