We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
me + whiskey = a bad person
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
