2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
