if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
