I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
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I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
You've changed since you got that strap on
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
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