fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno