It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.