Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts