Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis