My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Screwed.edu
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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