it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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