I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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