She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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