i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
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It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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