I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
