Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
