at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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