with your own penis?
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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