Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
