I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
