Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
