his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
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but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
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How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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