"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
