Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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