i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
