3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
