I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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