She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
