just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
