i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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