It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
