my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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