It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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