the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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