my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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