rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
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She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
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She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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