Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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