turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
