You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
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