dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Randomize
