That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
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