YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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