Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Green mimosas i think yes
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
