i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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