no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Randomize
