I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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