wakey wakey hands off snakey
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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