well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
