did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Every concussion has its silver lining
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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