Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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