drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
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