I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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