This is not my ceiling
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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