i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
