Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Randomize
