So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
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i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
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You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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