I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
