hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
