found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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