Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
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