I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Randomize
